"An' another thing—they've
been puttin' so many of those stiff colored sheets in the catalogue here
lately that it makes it hard to figger. Somethin' really ought to be
done about this, and I've thought about takin' it up with Mr. Sears Roebuck
hisself.
"As to the latch fer her, I can give you a spool and string, or a hook
and eye. The cost of a spool and string is practically nothin', but they ain't
positive in action. If somebody comes out and starts rattlin' the door,
either the spool or the string is apt to give way, and there you are. But,
with a hook and eye she's yours, you might say, for the whole afternoon, if
you're so minded. Put on the hook and eye of the best quality 'cause
there ain't nothin' that'll rack a man's nerves more than to be sittin' there
ponderin' without a good, strong, substantial latch on the door." And
he agreed with me.
"Now," I sez, "what about windows ; some want 'em, some don't.
They ain't so popular as they used to be.
If it was me, Elmer, I'd say no
windows ; and I'll tell you why. Take, fer instance, somebody comin'
out—maybe they're just in a hurry or maybe they waited too long. If
the door don't open right away and you won't answer 'em, nine times out of
ten they'll go 'round and 'round and look in the window, and you don't get
the privacy you ought to.
"Now, about ventilators, or the designs I cut in the doors. I can
give you stars, diamonds, or crescents—there ain't much choice—all
give good service. A lot of people like stars, because they throw a ragged
shadder. Others like crescents 'cause they're graceful and simple. Last year
we was cuttin' a lot of stars; but this year people are kinda quietin' down
and runnin' more to crescents. I do cut twinin' hearts now and then for young
married couples ; and bunches of grapes for the newly rich. These last two
designs come under the head of novelties and I don't very often suggest 'em,
because it takes time and runs into money.
"I wouldn't take any snap judgment on her ventilators, Elmer," I sez, "because
they've got a lot to do with the beauty of the structure. And don't over-do it,
like Doc Turner did. He wanted stars and crescents both, against my better judgment,
and now he's sorry. But it's too late ; 'cause when I cut 'em, they're cut." And,
gentlemen, you can get mighty tired, sittin' day after day lookin' at a ventilator
that ain't to your likin'.
"Now," I sez, "how do you want that door to swing? Openin' in
or out? He said he didn't know. So I sez it should open in. This is the way
it works out: Place yourself in there. The door open-in' in, say about forty-five
degree. This gives you air and let the sun beat in. Now, if you hear anybody
comin', you can give it a quick shove with your foot and there you are. But if
she swings out, where are you? You can't run the risk of havin' her open for
air or sun, because it anyone comes, you can't get up off that seat, reach way
around and grab 'er without gettin' caught, now can you? He could see I was right."
So I built his door like all my doors, swingin' in, and, of course, facing
east, to get the full benefit of th' sun. And I tell you, gentlemen, there ain't
nothin' more restful than to get out there in the mornin', comfortably seated,
with th' door about three-fourths open. The old sun, beatin' in on you, sort
of relaxes a body — makes you feel m-i-g-h-t-y, m-i-g-h-t-y r-e-s-t-f-u
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