Diplomacy

The very young produce assistant told him that they sell only whole
heads of lettuce. The man persisted and asked to see the manager.
The boy said that he would ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some
asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right
behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to
buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you
got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think
on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up
there".

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."

"No shit??" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"