HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports,
and she should keep the chips and dip coming."
Alan, age 10
"No person really decides before they grow
up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and
you get to find out later who you're stuck with."
Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER
by then."
Camille, age 10
"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to
get married."
Freddie, age 6
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people."
Eddie, age 6
"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids."
Errick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
"Both don't want no more kids."
Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get
to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen
long enough."
Lynnette, age 8
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all
the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead
columns."
Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"When they're rich."
Pam, age 7
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want
to mess with that."
Curt, age 7
"The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should
marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do."
Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys
need someone to clean up after them."
Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?"
Kelvin, age 8
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like
a truck."
Ricky, age 10
| A couple of good kid
stories I have no idea if they are true or not |
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to
her class. She came to the part of the story where the first
pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.
She read, "and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said:'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of
that straw to build my house?" The teacher paused......then
asked the class: " And what do you think the man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly
"I think the man would have said: "Well, fuck me!
A talking pig!"
The teacher was unable to teach
for the next 10 minutes.
|
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father
that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since
Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish,"
she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a
valentine?"
Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think
God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," she says.
"Why Osama Bin
Laden," her father asks in shock.
"Well,"
she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl
could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start
to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving
people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent
valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd
start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he
loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with
newfound pride.
"Melissa, that's the most wonderful
thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa
says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines
could blow the shit out of him." |
|
