Humor of all Sorts

Black Sheep
One day, an African chief's wife gave birth to a white child and the chief was absolutely stunned. He suspected some hanky panky and went to the white Jesuit missionary father and looked at him suspiciously. "You have been having sex with my wives," he accused the white father, who looked very uncomfortable. The Jesuit, attempting to wriggle out of the difficult situation explained Mendel's laws of genetics to the wrathful black man. "You see that herd of sheep," he said pointing to the chief's herd, "Most of them are white; but you will also notice 2 black lambs among them." "OK! OK!" said the chief. "You keep your mouth shut and so will I."

A Sheep Computer Consultant

Once upon a time there was a shepherd tending his sheep at the edge of a country road. A brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him. The driver, a young man dressed in a Briani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, Jovial Swiss wrist watch, and a Bhs tie gets out and asks the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?" The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the sprawling field of sheep and says, "Okay."

The young man parks the SUV, connects his notebook and wireless modem, enters a NASA site, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms, then prints a 150 page report on his high tech mini printer. He then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd answers, "That's correct! You can have your sheep."

The young man takes one of the animals and puts it in the back of his vehicle.

The shepherd looks at him and asks, "Now, if I guess your profession, will you pay me back in kind?"
The young man answers, "Sure."
The shepherd says, "You are a consultant."
"Exactly! How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd.

"First, you came here without being called.
Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.
Third, you don't understand anything about my business - and I'd really like to have my dog back."