He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some
don't have film. |
| A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers. |
| Change is inevitable, except from a vending
machine.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar
territory. |
| When the chips are down, the buffalo is
empty.
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Seen it all, done it all, can't remember
most of it. |
| Those who live by the sword get shot by
those who don't. |
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I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a
parallel universe
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| He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically
challenged. |
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You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against
you. |
| I wonder how much deeper the ocean would
be without sponges.
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Honk if you love peace and quiet. |
| Despite the cost of living,
have you noticed how it remains so popular?
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Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently
talented fool. |
| It is hard to understand
how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it
on the cost of living. |
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Just remember...if the world didn't suck,
we'd all fall off.
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| You can't have everything, where would
you put it? |
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The things that come to those that wait
may be the things left by those who got there first.
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| A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax
is a fine for doing well.
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It was recently discovered that research
causes cancer in rats.
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| Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since
nobody listens. |
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I wished the buck stopped here, as I could
use a few.
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| I started out with nothing, and I still
have most of it. |
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Light travels faster than sound. This
is why some people appear bright until you hear them
speak |
