| On a Sear's hairdryer: |
Do not use while sleeping. |
|
(damn, and that's the only time I have to work
on my Hair). |
| On a bag of Fritos: |
...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside. |
|
(the shoplifter special)? |
| On a bar of Dial
soap: |
"Directions: Use like regular soap." |
|
(and that would be how???....) |
| On some Swanson frozen dinners: |
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." |
|
(but, it's "just" a suggestion) |
| On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert |
(printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." |
|
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)! |
| On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: |
"Product will be hot after heating." |
|
(...and you thought????...) |
| On packaging for a Rowenta iron: |
"Do not iron clothes on body." |
|
(but wouldn't this save me more time)? |
| On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: |
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication." |
|
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.) |
| On Nytol Sleep Aid: |
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." |
|
(and...I'm taking this because???....) |
| On most brands of Christmas lights: |
"For indoor or outdoor use only." |
|
(as opposed to...what)? |
| On a Japanese food processor: |
"Not to be used for the other use." |
|
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm
a bit curious.) |
| On Sainsbury's peanuts: |
"Warning: contains nuts." |
|
(talk about a news flash) |
| On an American Airlines packet
of nuts: |
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." |
|
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) |
| On a child's superman costume: |
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to
fly." |
|
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents
for this one.) |
| On a Swedish chainsaw: |
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." |
|
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening
somewhere?) |
|
|
